Today

Had lunch at Ashland house today with Chris. I had the veggie plate, which had collard greens, fried asparagus, sweet potato, tomatoes and black beans. Mmmm. I really don't care for sweet potatoes, but they are chock full of vitamins and anti-cancer hoohah, so I just pulled up my big girl panties and ate it anyway.
Which made me feel justified in having the peach cobbler afterward -- the first sugar I've had in several days. Goodness, it was good. Right up there with my mom's peach cobber.
DH is still puny. Stayed home from work again today.
I worked out today, and set up an appt to start meeting with a trainer on Monday.

Nice Guy

I was Office Depot today picking up some stuff, including some paper. I bought a couple of reams of paper, the kind where they donate money to BC research if you buy it. The guy ahead of me in line noticed that, and bought a couple of reams of the same kind of paper, too! I thanked him, and he said, "Hey, I've got a wife and a mom..."

It's Christmas Time

...the girls decided they wanted to make a gingerbread tree tonight, and wanted to listen to Christmas carols while they did so. This can mean only one thing to me: The Ray Conniff Singers. We had one Christmas LP growing up, and it was of the Ray Conniff Singers. So I always make sure we have that playing on Christmas day.

Friends

Y'all, if you don't have a friend like Dragana, get one. She came by last night and dropped off low-sugar banana muffins to help me feel better.

Melange

There's so much in my head I'm not sure what to write about today, so forgive me if this is a little hodge-podgy.
* I got a v/m today from DD1's school, saying she'd missed 9 days this year so far, and if she misses 9 more, she might be held back. Is there anything the school can do to help her? Considering she's making straight A's, i think we're good for right now.
* Had a cavity filled today. Ouch.
* I went to DD2's school around 8:40 today, to sit in on chapel. I'm supposed to be the speaker in a couple of weeks, and i wanted to see how it's done. As I was walking in, they stopped me and told me DD2's skirt was too short for dress code, so I had to take her home and have her change. Whoops!
* Indian food for lunch today. mmmmmm. I had lunch with DD1 at her school, and she wanted a meatball sandwich. this s'wich contained 3 meatballs, one of which landed on the floor.
* a friend of a friend was diagnosed with stage 4 sarcoma recently. she's in high school. i have a bit of a messiah complex, so of course i emailed my friend with a summary of what "Beating Cancer With Nutrition" says. Her name is Chelsea, and her mom is a court reporter, so she only gets paid when she's there. please pray for Chelsea's healing. i hate cancer.

i'm kind of sad today. with Jacque's death, chelsea's diagnosis, carrie and mia's going thru cancer treatment, me dealing with the fear of recurrence (and mets, and dying). it's a lot. if you can't find me, look under the covers on my bed.....

The First One

Jacque, a wonderful, warm, funny, kind woman died of BC on Thanksgiving. I knew her through breastcancer.org, as we started chemo the same month. She could always be counted on for some positive thoughts, or something funny. She was diagnosed a year ago -- this was her second goround with BC, and by the time they caught it, it was in her lungs.
Here's her blog.
http://www.jacqnielsplace.blogspot.com/
I miss her.
I hate breast cancer.

The Promised Land

Trust must be an act of the will, never natural. God will always keep some major urgent need to keep us depending. God is dependable, and He wants us to live our lives in complete dependance on Him. We can depend on His plans and promises, that He will remain true to His character.

Found the above just now. It's notes from a bible study I took last year.

I may have ruminated about this before, so if I have, just skip this and go on.

i was talking to a fellow survivor Sunday -- she's a two year survivor -- and asking her how she dealt with the fear of recurrance. Because now that all the excitement and busyness of chemo and rads is over, there's nothing. Nothing to protect me from recurrance. A relative sent me "Noon At Nordie's", which is an account of 4 young women's journey thru BC. The problem is, two of those 4 women have since died from BC. So, it's a very real fear, esp with my kind of cancer, which was very aggressive.

So God and I were talking about this, and He reminded me of the story in the Bible of the 12 spies. God had promised the land of Canaan to the Hebrews, and they got to the border, and Moses sent out 12 spies to see what the lay of the land was. Ten of the spies came back and said, "No way. Those guys in the Promised Land that we're supposed to defeat? They're HUGE." Two of the spies said, "Yeah, those guys are big, but God is bigger."

Sp, Cancer Free Land is scary, and there will be challenges, but I need to trust that God is able to take care of me, and that He is dependable. And, of course, make wise food decisions. (See below: Give Up Sugar Or Die).