The Funniest Thing

I went to National Night Out last night, which, far from being a chance to get to know my actual neighbors on my actual street, in my neighborhood is more like a subdivision pool party. Anyway. While I was there, I was talking to a friend of mine. Her young son dropped his hot dog bun on the ground and started to cry.
Her husband said, "It's ok, just Baby Jesus it."
And my friend picked up the hot dog bun, brought it close to her mouth, said, "Baby Jesus!" and gave it to her son.
Upon noticing my slack-jawed, open-eyed gaze, she said, "When I was young, my cousins and I decided that if you drop food, as long as you observe the ten-second rule and say, 'Baby Jesus' over the food, it's safe."
So, I turned to her husband, who otherwise seems like a perfectly normal kind of guy, the kind of guy who would mow your lawn for you while you're out of town. "So...are you one of her cousins, or did you just pick up on the insanity when you married her?"
It was the latter, in case you're wondering.
I know that people pick up stuff from their spouses. Everyone in my family says, "Oh, my goodness" just like me. And if you see a picture of a formerly hot celebrity for whom the years have not been kind, you say, "How are the mighty fallen", and so on.
So, here's a tip for extra food safety, straight from the wilds of Houston, Texas: Baby Jesus your fallen food!

Not The Day I'd Planned

My bible study group on Sunday discussed the Sabbath. I remember an old pastor of mine, Doug Pratt, saying years ago that Americans work at their play, worship their work, and play at their worship. I envy the observant Jews who actually take a day of rest. Sundays for me are not a day of rest since I work at church. Monday through Friday, of course it's getting kids ready for school, housework, errands and so on.
The problem is I feel guilty when I rest, because I am surrounded by Things To Do.

Really?

So, I'm paying bills yesterday, and I notice that we're still paying $25 a month automatically to pay off the set of encyclopedias that Mike ordered. And I realize that I haven't gotten a statement from them lately.
So I call.
The lady finds our account, and asks what she can do for me.
Me: What's our balance?
Lady: Oh. Well, it looks like you have a $150 credit balance.

Really? So, we've been overpaying for SIX MONTHS and y'all didn't even notice?

enough, already

i am making the girls do a workbook page a day of the "Summer Bridge Workbook", and read 20 minutes a day this summer, and when they finished 15 days' worth, they got to pick a prize. tess picked a little diva makeover, and jillian picked going to build-a-bear. so, we go to the mall, and get tess her makeover, and jillian her bear. when we finish with tess' makeover complete with glitter and sparkles, she says she has to to the bathroom RIGHT NOW.
fine.
the nearest department store is Dillard's. so we go in there to go to the bathroom. on our way there, tess sees a flyer for "Celebrity Makeup Artist Michael [hoohah]", and she gets all excited, and wants me to get a makeover. fine. whatever.
we go to the bathroom, and then go to the makeup counter where the CMA was holding forth, and how it worked was, there were 4 celebrity makeup peons who each had a client, and did whatever the CMA said.


and i had a lady, who, really, i'm not being unnecessarily ugly, was about 60 and had raccoon eyes. but ok. So I only got to see the CMA for brief seconds at a time, as he went from chair to chair, supervising.

so my peon does my makeover, and she DOES NOT SHUT UP. she talks from the time i sit down until the end of the makeover.
when the makeover is finished, she says, "Now, with the moisturizer, the concealer, the toner, the foundation, the eye..."
"I'm not buying all that," I say.
"You're not?"
"No, I just came in here to go to the bathroom."
Now, I liked the foundation, but once she wrote down what she had used, and the relative prices, hoo mama!
Foundation: $66
Concealer: $23
Moisturizer: $40
So, I asked her if I could just buy the concealer, but she said it wouldn't work w/o the foundation, and I sure as heck wasn't buying the foundation.
so.
"I'll take the toner."
"And the concealer and foundation?"
"No. I just came in here to go to the bathroom."
"How about the moisturizer, and some eye shadow?"
"No, just the toner. I just came in here to go to the bathroom."
"Oh." (yells) "OK, Tony, ring her up! She's just getting the toner!"
Because, really? I was dressed in my workout clothes, and had had a minimum of makeup on. Did they think I was going to spend over $200 on makeup and skin care on a whim? I HAVE makeup and skin care at home, and if i run out, i have loads of MK, Avon and Arbonne ladies to help me....

Ready for my closeup....

Meh.

I am sick. Started feeling icky yesterday at work, just achey all over, sore throat, etc. Went home, and stayed in bed for the rest of the day, only getting up to make myself some soup for supper. Had tomato basil soup for lunch, and vegetarian barley for supper. i kept thinking of that quote, "I'm only a bad case of stomach flu away from my goal weight."
i asked mike to rub my feet since all of me was achey, but my feet especially so, and he said, "Wow, you're hot." But i don't think he meant it in the "beautiful" sense....

Buh-bye, Menopause. See You Soon

My body decided this month to emerge from menopause with a vengeance.

Me (last month): I think I'll donate all my unused feminine products to Cypress Assistance Ministries.
God: Not so fast.

Eating Roasted Beets for Supper

Purple in, purple out.

I'm just sayin'.

A New Excuse Not To Get Up

I was up uber-late last night, finishing writing the Good Friday service. Like 2 a.m., which in my younger days would have been No Problem. But my 46-year-old body did not want to get up at 6:14 when the alarm went off.
And it didn't.
I woke up at 8 a.m. when the neighbor girl knocked on the front door. Tess got up, no problem, but when I went to wake Jillian, she said, "They won't let me in if I'm more than 15 minutes late." And refused to get up.
So I called the receptionist at school, and had her tell Jillian it was ok to be late to school. Only then did she get up.

Jesus #2

Jesus #2 -- in "Jesus of Nazareth" is better. He gets flogged, but we mainly see reaction shots of the crowd. He has blue eyes. sigh. and guy liner.
This movie is one of the spot-the-celebrity movies. Distracting from the story -- Ernest Borgnine! Larry Olivier! Anne Bancroft! James Farentino! Olivia Hussey!

Jesus #1

The Jesus in "The Greatest Story Every Told" speaks in a ponderous manner, British accent of course, and barely moves his facial muscles. and he has BLUE eyes.
Presentational staging, lots of violins and sopranos.
Everyone....speaks....really....slowly....
the crowds are silent and respectful.
oddly enough, the crown of thorns on this Jesus didn't produce any blood. and he didn't get flogged. his robe got a little dirty, and he's barefoot, but that seems to be the extent of his pre-cross suffering. oh, i take that back. there are about 7 little red stripes on the back of his robe, and his hand is bloody. Poor thing.

Massacre

The moths and I are in a battle. The kitchen has become infested lately with Indian Meal Moths, and it seems the more of them I smush, the more they keep acomin'. They have their own methods of getting back at me for massacring their friends -- like a suicide mission into my chai tea, or into the dog's water....

Family Fun Night

Last Friday was Tess' 9th birthday, and her school's Family Fun Night, and her friend Cierra's slumber party. So we went to FFN for a while, where she got to dance the Cotton Eye Joe with the rest of the Third graders.
This video is from Family Fun Night. Tess is in the blue shirt. I was standing right by the speakers, so it's a bit loud.

Then I dropped her off at Cierra's.


After we picked her up Saturday, we went to Rainforest Cafe to celebrate as a family, and then walked around Katy Mills Mall for a while.

Finally, home to open presents! She was very excited to receive an iPod shuffle from Gaga, and a gift card from Nana. The bike she was less than thrilled with, because it didn't have any training wheels, and she is not ready to give up on training wheels yet.

Sigh

So, I'm coordinating Jillian's school's art fundraiser. They didn't have one last year, so I volunteered, because I want some stuff with her artwork on it. OK. So, Square1 Art sent me several emails telling me THE ARTWORK HAS TO GO OUT ON THE 11TH. THEY HAVE TO RECEIVE IT THE 13TH. "Your commitment to adhering to the Reservation Form date schedule is very important. We have assigned production time for your school based on the dates"
Fine.
I'm a procrastinator. So, when do i ask for the class lists from the school secretary? The 11th. When do i go to pick up the artwork? The 11th after school. The class lists were nowhere to be found, so I had to write them out by hand. All 205 names. And some of those kids' handwriting, whew. Anyway. I don't get done till after 6. And I go to the UPS store to ship the box out.
UPS Guy: The last truck already came at 6. You'll have to overnight it tomorrow. $68.
Me: Is there a UPS location that stays open later that has a later pickup?
UPS Guy: Yeah, there's Stafford or the airport.
me: Fine. I don't mind going to the airport.
UPS Guy: Stafford is closer.
me: OK. Fine. I'll go to Stafford.
UPS Guy: It's closed now.

So, anyway, he gives me this 1-800 number to call to find out the location and hours of the airport location. Fine. I call, and the guy tells me there's one on Sweetwater that closes at 7:15, and gives me the directions. Turns out it's off 45. So I drive, with the girls in the car, all the way to the 45 location. When do I get there? 7:20. And the registers are closed.
So, I drive back to our side of town, and take the girls to Luby's for supper. We get there at 8 p.m. I call my Square 1 art contact and leave a message, telling her the situ and asking her what to do.
I get an email from her Thursday morning, saying "That's ok. Just send it out today, two day. If we get it Monday, that's fine."

So i mailed it, along with Jayden's late birthday gift, and Criss' extremely late Christmas gift. I had to wait to mail my niece's Danielle's late birthday gift, because I forgot the gift card.

relaxing

i am still in my pajamas. after days and weeks of non-stop activity, most of the stuff i have to do for the show is donedonedone. i need to pick up mike cables, some dip, and some ice. that's it.
yippee! i am watching tv today, and tidying on commercial breaks.

The Power of Prayer

I just want to tell you, i believe in the power of prayer. This whole process of directing a show at Cypress Christian has been an arduous one, capped by finding out Wednesday at noon that my lead actor was dropping out. I found out just before going in to Ash Wednesday service, and I spent the whole service in prayer, and reading the Psalms, rubbing my thumb over certain verses to take them in further -- verses of deliverance and salvation.
Right after church, I went to the school and talked to the principal, and we decided to use one of the other actors, who'd been to every rehearsal but only had one line, and he would have the script in his hand. And my AD would step into that part.
I felt like I was going to faint for a while, but after I told enough people, and enough people started to pray, I calmed down. As my friend Tammy said, "Who's in control?" If God is in control why worry? If He's not in control, we're all in a world of hurt.
The performance yesterday went great. Ben was familiar enough with the script that he didn't really have to read from it except for some of the long speeches. The audience really liked it, and I got several comments about how I should publish it. I'm just praising God for His faithfulness, and praying we don't lose a lot of money on the show....

Today

Jillian's school is being decimated by sickness, so after they called the second time to ask me to sub, and said it was ok if i showed up after ten, i acquiesced. so, since i subbed, i didn't get anything for the show done. we need flats painted, costumes, set pieces, props, beards and mustaches, flyers made...
i have high hopes for tomorrow.

Irony

So you know my Facebook alter ego is Francesca Galliano. I was talking to Mike the other day, and he reminded me that his paternal grandfather's real surname was Campion. Grandpa's parents died in a fire, so he was adopted and changed his surname. If that hadn't happened, tho, I could be Francesca Campion......

CrazyBusy

I know I talk a lot on this blog about how busy I am, but I really have been lately. It seems I'm either working at church, working at the school getting ready for the show next week, or at home doing laundry or dishes. I've had a lot of fun directing this show, and God has been faithful to get me the people I need to paint sets, do makeup, and so on, but I will be glad when it is over so I can have some free time!

The show is, "Guess Who's Here?" a comedy written by yours truly. It will be performed 7 p.m. Thursday Feb 26th and Friday, Feb 27th at The Banff School. Admission is $12 for students and $14 for adults.

The frustrating part has been a few of my actors just don't show up for rehearsal. They don't let me know ahead of time, they just don't show up. Maybe they have a baseball game, maybe they have track, maybe they're sick, I don't know. We have been rehearsing since November, and I don't think I've had a full cast yet.

The Girl Scout cookies are in. And they are just sitting there. I have not delivered any. Except the next door neighbors, who are serious about their Thin Mints.

D'Oh!

So, we get home laaaaaaaate last night. I get the girls into bed, make some dark chocolate brownies, and fall asleep. I wake up ~1 a.m., and realize I hadn't prepared my chapel talk for this morning.
So I get that prepared, print it out, gather my props, and go to bed.
I wake up at 6:40, get everyone ready, and we are out the door at 7:15 a.m. I drop Jillian off, go find the principal to make sure it's ok if I pull some high school students out of class to be part of chapel, and then I go set up for chapel.
Lisa Shroyer once told me that the secret to a successful children's devotional is props. lots and lots of props.
So, for this chapel, I had chocolates, a picture of Joe Jonas, a picture of Donny Osmond, and a whipped cream pie. It went over very well, especially when I put the whipped cream pie into the face of the girl who wasn't being very loving....(she volunteered!)
Anyway, I get home from that, write the newsletter for the PTO, and start scrambling eggs for lunch. And as I'm standing there, reveling in the fact that I don't have anything to do for a couple of hours, I think, "Oh, lunch. I forgot to bring Jillian a lunch."
Just when you think you have it all together....

OK, So, Wow

The girls and I went out to eat last night at Black-Eyed Pea, because kids eat free. Then, we went to Michael's to get some stuff for Jillian to decorate her valentines box with. On the way home, at 8:23 p.m., we see this Hummer shoot out from a side street, hit a median, richochet off, spin around, and hit a power pole on the other side of the street.
So, I turn around and go to the scene of the accident. The driver, who was an intoxicated young woman in her late teens/early 20s, walked off. Left the scene of the accident. Hit, And. Run.
There were 4 witnesses: Me, a guy named Marcus, and a couple whose names I didn't ask. We called 911 FIVE TIMES, and it took the police NINETY MINUTES to show up. And we were just witnesses, doing our civic duty.
And it's cold, and rainy, and windy, and my kids go to bed before nine.
When the police finally showed up, they said it had only come across a few minutes previously. Which we could tell, because no two trucks showed up till the police did.
Policeman: When did the accident happen?
all of us: 8:23
Policeman: You've been out here for an hour and a half?
all of us: YES.
The scary part was, the BF of the driver came by, got really mad, fell to his knees, hit the ground with his fist, called her a bunch of names, took stuff out of the hummer and left. He came by three times and took stuff out of the hummer each time.
Anyway, the moral of the story? Apparently, shift change for HPD is at 9 p.m., so if you're planning on getting into or witnessing a wreck, don't do it at 8:23 p.m.

Ow!

The cat started to vomit Saturday, so I scooped her up, held her in front of me, and started running with her toward the back door. Unfortunately, I slipped in some of the vomit, fell, and hit my head on the wall. I'm still getting get headaches from that....

My Precious Girl

Tess has developed the stinkiest feet known to man. If she is in the 3rd row of the minivan and takes her shoes off, I have to crack my window so I can breathe.

Anyway.
We just finished our first school project -- make a volcano.

We started with a bottle of Big Red.
We experimented with a bottle of Rig Red and Mentos to make sure it would work.



Then we tried covering it with clay, but we ran out.

Then we made our own dough, but it fell off within 30 minutes.



Then we used a shell of cardboard, and added newspaper, and home-made papier mache.

Tess spray painted it, and added a display board.


Jillian and I went by after lunch to see the explosion at Tess' school. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. Mike came up with the idea of using Big Red, as it looks more lava-like than Diet Coke.

Those Pesky Italians

So I posted a pic of me on my Francesca facebook page. It's a fabulous pic of me that Mike took on our honeymoon. Because I figured all those Italian people who THOUGHT they were wanting to be friends with an Italian girl named Francesca would look at my pic, and then think, "No, wait. That doesn't look like the Francesca I know."
But no.
Mauro Salomone and Paolo Bologna want to be my friends.
Sigh.

The Dangers of Reading The Newspaper -- Sad

I need to cancel my newspaper subscription. I hardly ever read it, and it goes from the front yard to the recycle bin, usually still in its plastic bag.
Today, however, I had my quarterly round of checkups with my medical team, and so i took the paper with me, as we all know that going to see the doctor involves lots of waiting.
And I read the paper.
Unfortunately, it included a graphic description of the beating a two-year-old received at the hands of her mother and her stepdad before she died.
And I can't get it out of my head. Part of the dangers of an active imagination.
So I cried for her, and prayed for her, and all the children who suffer at the hands of those they should be able to trust, and asked God to use me however He wanted to help those children. Baby Grace is not in pain anymore, but there are plenty of children who are.

Of Accidents and Quietude

I bought a new desk the other day, as my old computer desk was just not big enough. I found myself putting papers on the floor, and then I couldn't find them later, blablalbaa.



So, we got our income tax refund the other day, and Mike said I could use part of it to get a new desk. I found one I liked at Louis Shanks, so I took all the passengar seats out of the minivan and went down Thursday to go pick it up. (They wanted to charge me $140 to deliver it.)
The furniture store is 30 minutes from our house, and we are on the way home, the desk and I. We get close to Kuykendahl, and the guy two in front of me slows to turn. The guy in front of me stops. The desk and I stop. The guy behind me? Not so much.
BAM! Third guy's car.


Bam! The van.


bam. first guy's car.


By God's grace, no one got hurt, but as you can see, the last guy's car was totaled. I have an appointment with the adjuster or whoever Tuesday, as I need a new bumper, a new door, and probably a new gas tank. The weird thing was, the guy gave me his girlfriend's insurance information, because he didn't have his, but he told me not to use it, that he would call me.
I waited, and called him FOUR TIMES, and he never called back with the info, so after waiting 48 hours, I went ahead and made a claim using the his girlfriend's info.
I was still shaken up Thursday, and I didn't feel like lugging the desk out of the van. Friday, Mike was too tired. Saturday, I was at a seminar, and by the time I got home, it was time for Mike and the girls to go to basketball, and when they got home, it was dark. So, yesterday, when I got home from church, I saw four strong young men playing basketball next door, and recruited them to help. It took all four of them plus Mike to get it in the house.

me: Isn't it pretty?
Mike: "Yeah, but next time, get a lighter desk."
So, here is a picture of my beautiful new desk. I am still figuring out where to put everything, but I like it!


Mike and I took Jillian to school today, and on the way to breakfast afterward, he's telling me how to drive. Which bugs me the snot out of me, because I have been driving three years longer than he has, and I seem to do just fine driving around all day long without his help, getting backended the other day aside.

Then, we're taking Tess to school afterward, and we see our neighbor Vernetta.
Me: Tess, is Christina in 4th grade or 5th this year?
Tess: It's CHRISTINA, not CHRISTINE, mom.
Me: OK, y'all have a good day today.

It must be a recessive gene where they think they know better than me.....

How It Is

I worked in a pharmacy for year, and if you need a refill, here is how it goes:

1. You call the doctor's office, and ask them to call in a refill.
2. They say ok, ask the number of your preferred pharmacy, and call it in.
Total number of calls = 1 Total time: 2 minutes.

Mike goes to a different doctor than the girls and I. He needed a refill on his prescription, so he asked me to call the doctor, make an appointment, and get a refill.

1. I call the doctor and make an appointment for March. (He's really busy until then.)
2. I call back and ask them to call in a refill. They say the pharmacy has to fax them the prescription request.
3. I hang up, and realize I don't have the doctor's fax number. I call back, but it's after 5, so they don't pick up.
4. I call today, and get the fax number.
5. I call Walgreens, and leave a message, as you can't talk to a live person.
6. Walgreens calls back and leaves me a message. I return the call, and give them Mike's birthday. They promise to call the doctor.
7. They call me again and leave me another message. I return the call, and they say the doctor's office turned down the refill request, saying the doctor wants to see Mike.
8. I call the doctor, and tell them WE ALREADY MADE AN APPOINTMENT. Oh, well let me talk to the nurse. OK, the doctor says he can have a short-term refill to get him by until his appointment. THANK YOU.
Total number of calls: 8 Total time: far too long

Whew!

So, my family got me Jillian Michaels' workout DVD for Christmas, Thirty Day Shred or something like that. If you don't know who she is, she's that mean trainer from "Biggest Loser".
The DVD has 3 20 minute workouts, combining cardio and strength.
I did Level One yesterday.
OMGoodness. I started wanting to give up during the 4 minutes of jumping jacks we started off with.
Then, I needed handweights, which i didn't know beforehand, and she doesn't wait for you to run go get some from Target or whatever, so I ran into the bathroom and grabbed two bottles of Listerine and used those. I just glad nobody peeked into the bedroom while I was doing my squats and lunges while lifting two bottles of Listerine in the air....

Home Again

We just got home from Kansas. After we put everything away, i let the girls take a bubble bath while i got out the Wiifit so i could play it uninterrupted for once. but no. we left the CD in my sister's Wii machine.
sigh.